


Fraternal

by thornsilver



Category: Weiß Kreuz
Genre: F/M, POV First Person, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-04
Updated: 2018-12-04
Packaged: 2019-09-07 11:56:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16853569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thornsilver/pseuds/thornsilver
Summary: Aya loves his sister.





	Fraternal

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally posted on LJ.

I have loved Aya for as long as I could remember. Everybody loved Aya. She was smart, and funny, and vivacious, and people were drawn to her like bees are drawn to a flower. There was always a court of admirers around her.

After, when Aya was in a coma, she was my reason for living. I have promised her to avenge the terrible wrong done to our family, and she was the shiny star I held in my heart as I tumbled further into darkness. My vow burned so brightly because I had made it to *her*.

Every morning when I woke, I made that promise anew. There was nothing left in me but my thirst for revenge and my love for Aya.

Visiting her in the hospital had always been a treat, even though she would not open her eyes to look at me, or squeeze my hand to show that she knew I was there. As my life became a nightmare of death and blood, I never lost faith that my sister still loved me. I would come to see her after a particularly unpleasant mission, and kissing her limp hand or her still cheek would lift my heart a little. And then I went out and killed again.

I never had any interest in meeting women. Yohji might exalt their glories day in and day out, but, after he clandestinely climbed out of their beds in the morning, he was still alone, while I had Aya to warm my soul. 

In my dreams she often smiled and spoke, hugged me and kissed me, warm and sweet, like she was before. Still, nobody was more surprised than me the first time I woke up to sticky boxers, Aya’s name still on my lips. I was upset, true. But my life was hers anyway. How and to whom would it have mattered?

After Reiji’s death I have dared to kiss her on the lips, and I have made her promises of new life for us. During that summer I was almost happy. Without missions to take me away I could visit with her every day. I was “that weird redhead” to everyone who knew me, but I didn’t mind. I had Aya, and that was all that mattered, all that I have ever needed.

And because I relaxed my vigilance and allowed myself to be happy, Aya was kidnapped and almost used as a sacrifice. I had nearly lost her. Sometimes I wonder if I curse everything that I touch.

In the end, I have lost her anyway.

Now that Aya is awake again, I don’t dare to come closer. The others think it is because I am ashamed of all the blood on my hands, but the truth is much more perverse. I love Aya, but my love had stopped being the love a brother has for his sister long ago. I am neither a fool, nor am I blind, and I did not need Schuldig’s taunts to open my eyes to that.

I am afraid that if I come close, I will not be able to keep myself from kissing her as I did when she was still and silent on that hospital bed. I am afraid of what I will do to keep her with me always.

Aya is still my sister and the reason for my existence. I will never do anything to cause her distress. So, for her own good, I must stay away. It is not what I want, but my wishes had never really mattered.

Sometimes, I still dream.


End file.
